Sunday, August 23, 2009

Week 29-Feeling Pregnant

At the beginning of July after book club one night a couple of my girlfriends who are moms stayed after everyone had left and we started to talk about pregnancy. They had noticed a couple of books sitting under my coffee table: The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs. I bought these books when I first found out that I was pregnant. They were very helpful during the first trimester when I was concerned about every twinge, every feeling, everything really until I felt more certain that this pregnancy was going to stick. At that point I pretty much relaxed about things. My pregnancy has gone remarkably smoothly and I haven't really felt the need to read these books much, I sort of just saw the remaining chapters that I hadn't read as a complaining session by pregnant women seeking nothing but attention. As I cautiously explained this to my friends they kind of looked at each other and laughed and said just hold on to these books, by about 7 months you will be ready to read them again, when your hormones start to take over, when you start feeling crummy etc, etc. In my head I thought, whatever, I will be fine. Well, I was wrong and the friends with experience here win yet again!

My usual level headedness is starting to slowly escape me. My decision making skills are evaporating before my very eyes. I need more encouragement and affirmation from my husband than ever before. I go from total bliss to total stress in less than one second. I am fearful to spend money, but yet feel the need to buy all the essentials so that Baby L has a happy, safe home. I have buyer's remorse when I do spend money. I can't wait to be home when Baby L is born, I am afraid of getting cabin fever after Baby L arrives. I worry that we have NO CLUE what we have gotten ourselves into. I could type a list of conflicting thoughts, rational and irrational behaviors all day long, but you probably get the point. Needless to say, my hormones are slowly taking over my body. My mind is not my own, my body is clearly not my own...Baby L you will NEVER understand how you have changed me! I am not totally crazy...yet, and I hope that I can get a grip...but these books are now very encouraging and comforting to me and make me sit and laugh hysterically. I am not alone in my IS rational irrationality! I read sections aloud to Drew but the poor guy just shakes his head. In the words of Jenny McCarthy "Take heart, I'll be back a few months after delivery!"

In my latest update for Week 29 I read the following and found it very appropriate given the last week:

If only you'd known you were going to trade... • Monthly PMS for nine months of weeping • Lacy thongs for cotton tents • Sex for gas • Zinfandel for Ovaltine • Birth control for laxatives • Going to the gym for getting up to pee • Your waist for a hot-air balloon • Kickboxing for kick counts • Your innie for an outie — a way-outie • Sleeping for groaning • Freedom for the most intense love you've ever known.

The last line is my favorite and the easy reminder of why this is all totally worth it. We can't wait for you to arrive Baby L!

No comments:

Post a Comment