Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

One year ago on Mother's Day I started this blog by announcing that Drew and I were expecting! Like many expectant mothers I was over the moon with joy about our growing family but also terrified. Maybe not everyone is willing to admit that, but I am. See, I have never really been in to other people's children. I have never been "in" to holding other babies and while I always believed that I wanted to be a mother some day, I certainly had my anxieties about my lack of knowledge and whether motherhood would really be a "fit" for me. I didn't feel that I was put on this earth to be a mother. I was happy with Drew and my life, more than happy, but deep down I did feel that something was missing.

I hoped that during my pregnancy my excitement would override my anxiety. For the most part it did, but I also talked to friends that I respect and admire very much who have had children over the last few years. Several women were willing to admit that motherhood didn't come very naturally to them, that they had to work at it day in and day out. They loved their children, and loved being a mother, but it was not instinctual. I appreciated them sharing this, too often, I feel women are afraid to admit their insecurities with other women. It made me feel better that maybe I wasn't the only one who didn't feel it was my design to be a mother simply because I am female!

When Luke was born, despite the exhaustion and daily concerns if we were doing things "right," I can honestly say that the deep seated feeling that something had been missing before completely evaporated. Luke was that something missing! I have never loved anything more than I love being Luke's mom and a family with Drew. It is the greatest honor.

Drew and I have elected to not exchange gifts for Mother's Day and Father's Day. The greatest gift is our time spent together, honoring and appreciating each other day in and day out and watching Luke grow. No gift could compare to having Luke fall asleep in my arms tonight.

We had a wonderful day as a small family and with our extended family. We started off the morning with a walk (with the dogs of course) to a local coffee shop for breakfast on their patio. This afternoon we had both of our families to our house for a late lunch. We are blessed that we have such wonderful mothers and grandmothers as role models. I am very proud to call my mom, mine, she is a wonderful grandmother to Luke and has been so incredibly helpful and supportive to us over the last 6 months. I am so blessed with an amazing mother in law that shows love in all her actions.

Luke had FIVE moms to celebrate with today-Me, Nonni, Mimi, Great Grandma Hovel and Great Nana Iddings! What a lucky guy!

Luke has grown so much in the last week! He is stronger than ever, eating more than ever, reaching for more objects, in to every part of his world and just so fun! We also weened him from swaddling this weekend. Friday night was miserable, and he screamed for almost 4 hours (I cried too), but since (knock on wood) he has slept great without being swaddled!

Finally, we can't forget the wonderful men in our lives! Here Luke hangs out with Granddad my Grandpa Hinrichs used to say "If it wasn't for your father, your mother wouldn't be a mother on Mother's Day!" (or something similar to that). So THANK YOU, Drew, Dad and Chick!
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms out there! Being a mom is one of the hardest and most joyous jobs out there!

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