Monday, July 25, 2011

Calling All Mamas...

Meet my eldest son...
Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde (you can see both in this picture right?)

I knew it was coming...I have been waiting...the time is now officially upon us.

Dr. Jekyll:  AKA Luke-loves his "BABEEE", is super duper helpful, gives kisses to the baby, hugs, wants to help feed him and is genuinely excited to see him each morning and throughout the day.  These are the heart melting moments.

Mr. Hyde:  AKA Lucifer-hits baby on his head, pulls his hair, wants to do trust falls on to the baby, and is overall too rough with the baby.  All of these antics are done typically while I am nursing the baby and Mr Hyde/Lucifer looks at me and watches for my reaction while he hits etc.

I know he just wants my attention and is jealous.  I know that at heart I really have Dr. Jekyll/Luke, and in all honesty I have my nice sweet boy much more often than I have my challenging one....but the challenging moments can get a little scary.  I learned last week that disciplining didn't get the desired result nearly as quickly as taking a moment away from the baby to show love and affection and attention to Luke, but the reality is that I can't always take those moments away when I am feeding the baby and I need for Luke to realize that his actions aren't acceptable.  I don't want to give bad behavior too much attention, because that is reinforcing the behavior, but I also don't want to ignore it completely and have him think it is okay.

So, I need some advice.  Mamas of 2 under 2 (or any age for that matter)...any ideas/thoughts?  How did you handle these issues.  I am not a proponent of spanking just to be clear, but I do need some suggestions, words of wisdom, success stories...and maybe to hear that it gets better?  :)

3 comments:

  1. BWAHAHAHAHA! Okay it's not funny - but kind of funny. That first picture sums it all up=) No advice from me as I haven't a clue - but good luck my friend!

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  2. Ah! The memories come flooding back from those years with toddler and baby!! Spencer did all of those things and had an equally sweet and sinister relationship with Graham. First and foremost - NEVER leave Luke alone with Bowen. The best advice I got at that time was to get Spencer out of the house a few days a week away from Graham and I. We signed him up for a two day a week camp/daycare thing and it really helped him settle down about Graham and I. He had some time away to be himself and play with other kids his age and it made him much better around us. It also gave me some alone time with Graham. If you can swing sending him to daycare a few days a week - that would be my first suggestion.
    I must admit I did some spanking in my worst moments of frustration when I was trying to nurse Graham and Spencer was acting up. If possible I tried to get him occupied with someone or something else when I nursed though. The electronic babysitter came in very handy when Aaron was not around to distract him and give him the attention he was seeking. I am not proud of my use of TV as a way to keep him occupied, but it did work (obviously I did not use it every time). I also tried hard to give him one on one time with me when Graham was napping or just lying in his basket. You are right to focus on the position attention rather than the negative, because he is just reacting to the attention he is missing. But there is nothing wrong with time outs in a time out chair(type thing) and a simple sentence of what he did that was not allowed, to let him know the behavior is not acceptable. I think they say the time out should not be longer than their age though - so for Luke not more than 2 minutes.
    Rewards for behaving well during nursing can help too. Tell him before you begin nursing that you are going to do it, and that if he is good while you are nursing that you will play with him as soon as you are done, or he can have a treat, or whatever would be a good reward for him. You may need to remind him periodically while you are nursing to keep the coming reward fresh in his mind.
    Hopefully some of this will be of help?
    Amazingly this stage will be over before you know it(easy for me to say now)! Hang in there! xoxoNellie

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  3. Long time fan of you, just found the blog! I think that no one knows your boys (or loves them) like you do. Trust yourself, trust your gut and self medicate as much as possible. You're an awesome mom.

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